Always better

my daily reminder that i see every time i get on the computer...

Expect good things!!!

Think positive thoughts today.

today i had to put alot of effort in to thinking positively but i managed to keep telling myself things will get better and this afternoon both kids slept at the same time for nearly 3 hours so i got to have a big nap too and am feeling much better :)

Separation Anxiety

my Daughter is now 7 1/2 months old and since she was born she has suffered from Separation anxiety from me. it is getting really hard as she wont even sleep with out me being right there.. ive been talking to my mum alot today on ways to get through this time and its really hard as its really just she will grow out of it... we feel like we have tried everything and i am walking on pure need to keep going for the kids and on no sleep...

but on the plus side she is soo peaceful when she is asleep...

wake up happy

Smile and look for the positive in your day.
(some of these are out of order because weather not permitting or just such a busy day already planned but will get around to all of them within the 30 days)

i did this one without even putting effort in. i woke up before both kids this morning happy and full of energy, dont know why as i was still up over half the night with my daughter, maybe it was the half a bottle of Champange i drank at dinner last night who knows but i am going to take full advantage of this energy..

today i have already cleaned my parents house and its only 9 am, but i am looking forward to taking the kids to Playgroup, and then finding ways to entertain them throughout the rest of the day as its pouring down outside.. and ending with a birthday party for my Brother (35) and having 6 kids all sleeping here overnight(my kids and my nieces and nephews) after making them all hyper on birthday cake :P

having a positive outlook on life (no matter how hard it is somedays)is really helping with enjoying the little thing my kids do, for example my son is now saying 'i love you' and doing jigsaws and drawing better.. and my daughter can say 'dada, muma, bobo, no' and is crawling like a pro, standing by herself for about 5 secs, and trying to walk by herself. these are all things i dont remember with my son because i gave into the depression and most days didnt get out of bed.

i am so proud of how great my kids have grown up despite my struggling and feeling like a bad mum most days..

Start a Blog

Record your thoughts and feelings today.

well i guess i started this a few days ago by starting this blog..

but as for today:

i am feeling excited, exhausted, happy, like a failure, proud, and so tired i have a migraine.

i am staying at my parents house on holiday for the next 3 weeks and last night my mum (who is a midwife/nurse aswell) saw how little sleep i have been getting from Jubilee crying all night and not sleeping in her cot, so she took jubi for about 4 hours and settled her and let me have a good sleep, and we are going to work together over the next 3 weeks to try and figure out a way to get jubi sleeping better so in turn i can get sleep...

tonight i am taking my family out to dinner for my brothers birthday and i'm really looking forward to it even tho i have a migraine...

Flower Love

Take a flower walk or add some to your to your home.

i spent nearly all day on a airplane so i took a photo of the flowers that have been keeping my house nice and bright from the past 2 weeks...

Let go of the past

today i am focusing on the future, looking forward to going on holidays and seeing family, looking forward to taking a step forward and not thinking about the pain of the past...

i have not given in to the tears, i have gotten up played with my kids and cleaned the house.. i have danced around, and enjoyed just sitting and cuddling my little princess while she slept..

these are my kids, Jubilee grace (4 months) and Boaz Xavier (2 years old) in this photo they are now 7 months and 2 1/2 years old

Journey to find the Rainbow...

i have suffered with depression since i was 14 and since i had my son 2 1/2 years ago i have suffered from Post-Natal Depression. since then i also have a 7 month old daughter, and have permanently separated from my husband of 6 years.

this past week i have hit rock bottom not sleeping, crying all the time, and just not being able to pick myself up.

tomorrow is a new day and i am starting the 30 days of Happiness by Seven Cherubs
http://www.sevencherubs.com/

this is my journey to a new me, a new life and to become the best mother i can be.