Home

“where we love is home, home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.” oliver wendell holmes Where do you call home? whats the feeling you get when you think of this place? as a child i moved every 1-3 years, as my parents were missionary's around Australia. my mum worked full time night shift and my dad was a pastor and always had at least 2 other jobs that kept them all busy so i become independent pretty early on and my sister was my only real constant. lately i've been feeling lost and wanting that feeling of being home again feeling comforted, Safe and for lack of any better work feeling 'at home' but i'm struggling to think of where that is to me or what makes me feel that way. today i am carrying the biggest bag of mixed emotions possible, mostly im confused and lonely and i just want to go home....

Compliments

on the days that have been tough and i have felt unloved, unappreciated, worthless and a bad mother. i have a little note book full of compliments that have been given to me. its a great way of reminding my self that even tho i may not see my beauty or how good of a mum i am or how much i really am loved, that the people that are close to me really do see good things about me and it gives me a great lift and maybe one day i will start believing it and once i do its going to be amazing my biggest compliment i have been given lately which i just cant stop thinking about, is one of my closest friends told me that when she becomes a mum she wants to be a mum like i am. it just blows me away as most days i feel like i'm neglectful and selfish and all round bad mum.. this is the one compliment i really really want to believe because if i can believe that i am a good mum then i can become an amazing mum and give my children the best life possible.

Birthdays!!!

Birthdays are a big things for me, it a day that the birthday person gets lots of attention and love. so i don't care if i'm run off my feet with preparations it all for good cause. my birthday was in October and i had a great girls night in high tea birthday party with Fondue and so much food and awesome teas.

this was my birthday cake i made.. :D my son's birthday is next week and we had his birthday party last weekend. it was so much fun. i did a "Where's the Green Sheep?' by mem fox theme party,

he had a small treasure hunt to find a box of green sheep toys that i made for each of the kids

he had a sheep pinata that we made together he also had past the parcel and lots and lots of fun

and this is his Green Sheep cake In 1 month i also have my Daughters 1st birthday which is a Teddy Bears Picnic, which i'm really looking forward to... oh how i love birthdays and spoiling my kids :)

Lonely nights

Start the day dragging myself out of bed to get two beautiful kids dressed and fed, then proceed on to the many things i need to get done and when i have great days like today when i hours just sitting and playing with the kids, i love life and feel completely content. But (there's always that damn but) then i get the kids to bed relax and get into bed myself and find it empty (most nights till the kids sneak in). All i want is to cuddle upto someone and talk (actually conversation). To fall asleep feeling completely  comforted, contentment, and joy.
I can't wait to meet my perfect match...